Everyone Is a Snob

        I love San Diego county and I love the districts within the city. I love that I know most places like I know my own face and that there are still places to be discovered. 

I love that I can stand at a beach in solitude and feel my own soul. I truly can feel something deeper than the surface of my skin when I'm looking out at the ocean from any coast, or off the bow of any ship.

I love that I'm never too lost in any part of the state because there will always be a familiar face a few hours away. Whether a human face, or the face of a city.. Sacramento, where you at? Frisco... Inglewood always up to no good. Even San Pedro wanna get a little bit of dis. 

I try to be humble about California. To me, praising this state is like telling a girl with an already overblown ego that she is beautiful. 

We get it, California.  You're the hot girl without money--but your'e hot.

All of this came to the table because, last night --in North Park-- Kristy and I were out with Joe and someone made the statement: "Everyone is a snob about something."

And we sat and analyzed ourselves and revealed our snobbish attribute for discection.

Kristy's friend Joe is a movie snob--I imagine him being like Jason Bateman on JUNO and having a preference about certain genres of film, and having a strong opinion within that genre about directors.

Kristy is a snob about California. 

She's kinda like Manhattan guy on Sex and The City who said, "Ugh. Visit Conneticutt? Why would you want to leave Manhattan? You've got everything here."

And Miranda looks at her watch and says, smiling through a tiny bite of ice cream, "I have to go feed my cat."

I am not a snob about anything.

The End.

I Want a Bike

You'll want a bike, too, once you read this.  

I want a beach cruiser.  Nothing new because I'll paint it myself.  Candy apple red with gold flecks that sparkle under sunlight.  It will have black cherries with dark green stems hand-drawn on the wheel centers and a little black basket up front to carry whatever groceries, half-full bottle of beer, and/or drugs I've purchased that day or night.

I want to ride it and hear the un-oiled parts squeak like tweety birds following everywhere I go.

Squeet squeet.  Squeet squeet.  Squeet squeet.

And maybe on some days I'll carry an old tape recorder in the basket to record my bike so that when I'm at home, I can play it for visiting friends. 

"Wanna hear my bike?"

When I was a kid I used to have a Huffy with a basket up front.  I used to 'borrow' (take without permission) my mom's tape recorder.  She used it in college but not anymore. I borrowed it to record music from my favorite movies, for example: 'The Three Amigos' when Dusty, Ned, and Lucky are singing around the campfire, the end-song to Mannequin (Nothin's gonna stop us now! by Jefferson starship), and the beginning to that show 'It's a living'.  

I eventually broke that tape recorder one day while roaring down the street while rocking out to Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now.

No, bike.  NOTHING will stop us..

I hit a speed bump.

The recorder fly out of the basket, did flips and backsprings into the air, and when I reached out in a fruitless effort to save it, it crashed to the pavement and shattered.

Anyway, about that bike.  I want a black helmet like the guys on vespas wear, and I want it to say, "I'm ahead of you" or "drive it like you stole it" or "Can you take the heat?"

On the rear of the seat will be another message that reads, "I have nice eyes, too."

Oh, my dream bike.

Some day.  Some day.

x

Bees

The other day, I told Michael the Pi Guy that cell phones are killing Bees. He replied, “I’d like to see the data on this and who reported it.”

“Slate magazine,” I replied.  Then the needle skipped and I wondered to myself: where had I seen that piece of info?

I researched the link between bee deaths and cell usage in reliable (and semi-reliable) news sources, and found one thing was for sure:

Bees are screwed.

However friends, there are a few simple ways you can help…without completely sacrificing your cell phone.  Read on.

First: Those cell phone studies

Panjab University in India: cell phones were fitted to bee hives and juiced up for 15 minutes, twice a day.  Researchers reported that bees were left disoriented for a few hours each time.

The Swiss Federal Institute of Technology: cell phones were placed under hives and bees were able to sense when the handsets were making and receiving calls, and responded by making the high pitched squeaks that usually signal the start of swarming. After a few months, honey production stopped, the queen bee produced half the normal amount of eggs, and the size of the hive was dramatically reduced.

Landau University: when cell phones were placed nearby, bees refused to return to their hives. (2)

We can see that cells affect a bees orientation to home/hive, but is this actually causing the deaths of millions of bees?

The bigger picture…

University of Sussex: Norman Carrack at the International Bee Research association says that, though bees are affected by magnetic fields,  it has not been proved that Bees use the earth’s magnetic fields for navigation.  Therefore, the theory that cell towers change the magnetic fields of the earth, affecting a bee’s ability to navigate to the hive, “is an interesting study but it doesn’t prove that mobile phones are responsible for colony collapse disorder. If you physically knock a hive, or open one up to examine it, it has the same result,” Carrack said in an interview with The Daily Mail.

That sounds like a lot of death.

According to a March, 2011 article in the Ventura County Star, the U.N.’s environmental agency warned in a new report Thursday that the world’s bee population is likely to keep declining unless humans change the way they manage the planet. (7)

A 3 year study at the University of Illinois analyzed four of eight species of bumblebees and found that the populations have declined by as much as 96 percent and that their surveyed geographic ranges have shrunk by 23 to 87 percent. (5)

Colony Collapse Disorder is the technical term for “A bunch of dead bees;” Wikipedia was able to break it down better than I ever could:

From 1972 to 2006, there was a dramatic reduction in the number of feral honey bees in the U.S. [...] This is has been attributed to a culmination of factors, such as urbanization, pesticide use, tracheal and Varroa mites, and commercial beekeepers‘ retiring and going out of business. However, in late 2006 and early 2007 the rate of attrition was alleged to have reached new proportions, and the term “colony collapse disorder” was used to describe this sudden rash of disappearances.^[1][26]

There are many theories of why the population is dropping faster than panties on prom night, but no conclusions.

So cell phones aren’t the only possible explanation.

What the F are Varroa Mites?

The varroa mite is a tiny insect that feeds off the bodily liquids of bees in the hive (I think I’m gonna puke), and carries a damaging virus and can wipe out whole colonies. Chemicals worked, but increasingly, the mites are developing resistance to the chemicals used against them.

And chew on this: in Canada where the mite was controlled, honey bee harvesters still reported losses in their colonies during winter, leading Canadian beekeepers to consider weather, too?(4)

Researchers are fighting each contributing factor, but it seems that as they punch one factor in the face, another factor throws a left hook.

All this Bee death, but where?

In a 2007 article from Sunday Times out of the UK (gotta love those sexy brits), Ben McIntyre writes that bees are dying across the world at a terrifying rate. The apian epidemic started in the United States, where entire populations of honey bees have simply vanished in the phenomenon known as colony collapse disorder (CCD). At least a quarter of America’s 2.5 million honeybee colonies have been wiped out already, and CCD has spread to Brazil, Canada and parts of Europe.

Bee populations are also sharply reduced in Britain, with some keepers reporting the abandonment of more than half their hives.

So what’s the big woop? Bees sting. They are a pain.

The comedian Dane Cook once asked:

Who gets killed by bees? Anytime they come on the news like, “A man in Austin was killed by bees.” I just fucking laugh. How do you get killed by bees?  I could undestand if it was like killer horses, flying through the air kicking you in the face. That’s scary shit! But bees? Fuck bees.

Dane’s a silly bitch because he knows as well as you that bees are pollinators, pollinating 90 major crops worldwide, and if those crops don’t get pollinated, you might as well assume self-ass-kissing position and kiss your own goodbye, because:

“They are an essential agent of pollination for a vast range of plants, many of which are important human foodstuffs. Without the presence of bees, much of agriculture would be impossible, and this is a sobering thought right now, as feeding the world is suddenly becoming more difficult because of rising demand.” (3)

In my own lifetime, the population of the world has gone up by 3 billion. That’s a lot of mouths to feed.

All these problems, but how can I help?

• Become a backyard beekeeper – backyard beekeepers can not only infuse the dying hobby with life, it can strengthen the bee gene pool by adding healthy local bees to the mix. If you’re interested in becoming a backyard beekeeper, experts recommend starting with a local beekeepers’ association to learn about keeping bees alive and healthy. It’s important that bees are adapted to the local climate, so you’ll want to start with a local source for bees.
• Pass on beekeeping, grow a bee-attractive garden – With rapid urban development limiting their foraging habitat, backyard gardens can offer a welcome supply of nectar and pollen for honeybees. I attached a list, below, of fruits and flowers that attract bees.  Here is an awesome list of flowers, trees, fruits, and other plants that attract bees.
• Give bees a voice - Robert Mendela, president of the Backyard Beekeepers’ Association, says, “Something the average person can do, is to write to their senators and representatives in congress on the federal level and to do the same on the state level to support funding of honeybee research. This support has fallen off over the years.” (6)

It’s been proven that there is still no way for us to recreate honey bees pollination in all our crops.  They are important economically, and ecologically.  It’s estimated that 1/3 of everything you eat is pollinated by those little guys.

So there, Mike.  Happy?  It’s not just cell phones, but possibly other factors or perhaps a combination of factors.  Either way, I’ve also offered solutions, so perhaps you should climb to your rooftop and start a little rooftop garden in Oxnard… help save the bees, eh?

*1. Hermiman, S. (2010, July 10). Study links bee decline to cell phones. Retrieved from http://articles.cnn.com/2010-06-30/world/bee.decline.mobile.phones_1_bee-populations-cell-phone-radiation-ofcom?_s=PM:WORLD

*2. Lean, G. “Are Mobile phones killing bees?.” Independent 15 April 2007: 1. Web. 2 Aug 2011. <http://www.independent.co.uk/environment/nature/are-mobile-phones-wiping-out-our-bees-444768.html>.

*3. McCarthey, M. “The Big Question: Why are honey bees disappearing and what can be done to save them?.” Independent23 Apr 2008: 1. Web. 2 Aug 2011. <http://www.independent.co.uk/environment/nature/the-big-question-why-are-honey-bees-disappearing-and-what-can-be-done-to-save-them-813971.html>.

*4. “Cellphone radiation may be killing bees.” CTV news 15 April 2007: 1. Web. 2 Aug 2011. <http://www.ctv.ca/CTVNews/SciTech/20070416/bees_cellphones_070416/>.

*5 “Cell phones caused mysterious bee deaths, study finds.” Fox News May 2011: 1. Web. 2 Aug 2011. <http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2011/05/13/cell-phones-caused-mysterious-worldwide-bee-deaths-study-finds/>.

*6. Silence of the bees. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.pbs.org/wnet/nature/episodes/silence-of-the-bees/how-can-you-help-the-bees/36/

*7. World’s bee hives to decline without human intervention. (11, March 2011). Retrieved from http://www.vcstar.com/news/2011/mar/10/worlds-bee-hives-to-decline-without-human/?partner=RSS#ixzz1UBpIrgGX

Bonjour, MF'ers

        Tonight, my roommate made something called "lemon tart" and it was delicious! 

As we sat at the kitchen table in our usually silent apartment we started talking.  Fabian and Max are one french physicist and one German physicist.

I asked Fabian, "Did you make this from scratch, because it's delicious!"

Fabian: "Scratch?"

Me: "Yeah."

Fabian: *laugh* "I'm sorry, but what is SCRATCH."

Me: "Scratch. Like, not from the box.."

Fabian: "Oh, yes," he smiled as though I'd just given him a gift. "Scratch.."

I love our little interludes because I guarantee there will always be something that needs translation from either side. He once said, "I hate LA. What is in Los Angeles, anyway? I prefer Santa Barbara."

I said, "I once saw Jay Leno in Redondo beach."

Fabian: "Who?"

Me: "He took over for Johnny Carson?"

Fabian: Blank stare

Tonight we got to talking about Netflix. He wants an account, so I brought my current Netflix disk into the living room to show him how they are packaged. French Kiss was one of the movies and I felt my face turn tomato colored as my fully-french roommate gazed at the disk design. 

"It's such a dumb movie!" I said, embarrassed by just the title “French Kiss," yet secretly knowing I truly love zis movie, oui oui!. 

"If you really want to see what American film makers think of the French, you have to see this."

"Oh, I know," He said, eyes gone wide and a big laugh coming from him. He continued, "Every year they have a (and he made air quotes with his fingers) 'french festival' in downtown Santa Barbara with (more air quotes) 'french food'. And this cartoon--The rat who cooks?"

"Ratatoulle?"

"Yes! Everyone in this movie wears a hat that I have not seen in my generation, that my grandfather does not even remember wearing. A beret?"

I couldn't stop laughing. I had to hide my face because I was laughing so hard at how funny it must be to him! 

"And they carry around Baguettes," he paused, then said, "Okay, the baguette might be true, but this hat!"

I started telling him about Sex and The City, how Sarah Jessica Parker gets her baguette and her beret because she wants the ultimate french experience--

He's laughing as I'm telling him about this incredibly cute episode.

--and how she starts talking about the Eiffel tower and how amazing she thinks it is, and how in an instant, the Parisian girl shits on her dream of the Eiffel tower--

He's still laughing.

--and how my friend Kristy speaks French and how she is going to be here, soon, and how he will have to meet her because she's my best friend.† And that she has taught me a few french phrases.

"What?" he asked.

I said, "Aurevoir and Bonjour!"

Best lemon tart I've ever had.

Life As I Know It

Every morning I pedal my bike along a path the hugs the shore. I look out at the Pacific Ocean and feel the weight of myself.  I am naval lint; I am an absolute fleck of dust on a windshield.  I am bird crap in comparison to this stretch of tides.

I ride through the morning mist and think that if atoms suddenly lost any ability to cling to each other, I could easily become part of everything that surrounds me. Just dissolve away like Robert Patrick in Terminator 2.

I feel Bob when I'm in a place like this, surrounded by nothing but earth. Not as strongly as I did that day on the cliffs in Chico, only weeks after he left, when the breeze rolled along my neck and my cheek and I knew it was him.  It sounds so trite to someone who's never been so incredibly close to someone who has died. I couldn't tell you how I knew it was him because there was no scent, no whisper, just this feeling of his entire being washing through me like I was mesh, and then against me. It was like a kiss, a caress, and I almost choked because I knew it was him, and I don't care if you think I'm crazy (maybe I am).

I must sound so redundant--Bob this, Bob that--but he was so much a part of my life that I'd be an ass to stop.

"Hey Bob, thanks for everything you ever did for me and my family and all the love you put into my life. I'm going to stop talking about you because I'm a jerk."

The truth is, I couldn't stop if I wanted to. I don't ever want him to be the past.

"I kept as still as I could. Nothing happened. I did not expect anything to happen. I was something that lay under the sun and felt it, like the pumpkins, and I did not want to be anything more. I was entirely happy. Perhaps we feel like that when we die and become a part of something entire, whether it is sun and air, or goodness and knowledge. At any rate, that is happiness; to be dissolved into something complete and great. When it comes to one, it comes as naturally as sleep."__My Antonia by Willa Cather

San Diego, VA.

Jun 26

DOING THIS
I'm downloading music, but choosing the music via friends' music lists on Myspace.

LAST NIGHT
I woke up yesterday in the middle of the night and decided to start writing because I had this great idea for a story but I'm not so sure it's great anymore.  I used Kristy's name ( always use her name for the leads cuz I always imagine someone like her in these situations ) and gave her a lover named Jack.  Love that name.  I think I'm going name my kid Joshua, Jakob, or Jack..

I think the lack of sleep came from the food we all crammed down our throats yesterday afternoon.  Had some people over, about 10 or 12, ate a crapload, drank wine, played trivial Pursuit (popculture) and called it a night.  My partner was Russ... a guy I met in Sicily with the ultimate surfer accent.  He's a good time because he'll throw out off-the-wall references that leave people wondering if they should laugh or scoot away from him.

Russ and I 'technically' won the game because of my amazing knowledge (excuse me as I buff my nails with my shirt sleeve) of movies prior to 1998.  I used to be a huge movie buff, as some of you know...now I can't even stand to sit in front of a television and I can't sit still in movie theaters. But I can still enjoy a good book.. go figure!

Most of our game wedges we won fairly, and one of them... we won because Bob shouted the answer before it said "all-play"... so Russ and I looked at each other, looked at everyone else, and repeated what Bob said and we won the wedge.

FINAL THOUGHTS
I'm sad to have to leave because I'm comfortable here.  But I know the grass is always greener on the other side.  I remember leaving home in 1998 and traveling to all of these places that the navy sent me but my heart would ache for home.  I could never listen to "Be like that" by 3 doors down ("spends his nights in california..."), "Santa Monica" by everclear ("..I am still living with your ghost, lonely and dreaming of the west coast...I just want to see some palm trees, I will try to shake away this disease") or any other song that mentioned a bit of California that I missed.  Hell, even last year when I watched the Anchorman here on the east coast I was more interested in San Diego in the background than the movie.

I've grown up a lot and realized that there's a lot more outside of california that's better and not so better.. (it reminds me of that scene on Sex and the City when Miranda meets the guy who never left Manhattan.."Why on earth would you do that?" she asked.  He answered.  "Why would you want to leave, everything's here.")  I met an australian in Queensland who told me the same thing..  He'd never left that half of Australia because, "I've got everything I need here.  I have no interest in California or anywhere else...just home."

I've also realized that everything is the same, whereever you go, except the weather.  The southern hospitality is a lot different here, that's for sure; random people come up and start conversations with me and I love that..

Dunno.  My flight leaves tomorrow, tuesday, and I'll be back in San Diego.. Back with Bette, my sweetheart.  Back with my cat who needs to go to the vet, my car...and leaving the fiat behind.

I'll give California another few months before I decide on whether I'm going to move out here and eventually make a home near DC.  I think it's my favorite city in the entire country...I could make it home.

Dizzy's

Went to Dizzy’s last night because my teacher was performing with the Mesa College Jazz Band. It was so fun because I knew almost 3/4 of the people there,  it was like a party and not a concert. There's a song they were performing called the "louis shuffle" (not the St. Louis Shuffle) and they sounded horrible. You could see Professor Romeo just gritting his teeth and looking back at the kids behind him. After the song, when the audience began to applaud, he put his hands out to shush us, then he said, "That song didn't deserve any applause. That was, what we like to call in the business, the equivalent of a train wreck."

*lots of laughter*

"so we're going to do it all over again." They did the song ALL over again. It was fun... wish other peeps could have been there. I ended up sitting next to Zig, the guy in my speech and Jazz class...he talks a lot and knows a lot about jazz so it makes me feel very comfortable.